While growth is unremitting, how do you know when you’ve ‘grown up’? Is adulthood about getting a job, getting married, or moving out? Irrespective of what your personal milestone for growth might be, there are a few universal emotions that we all eventually have to surf around with as we grow out of our naive teenage years. Gujarat-based Damini or popularly known as Krameri reminisces these very years of a fleeting teenage youth in her recent EP, ‘Feels like Amnesia’. The music sounds of nostalgia as it takes you on a ride amidst the dazzling life of college parties, decadence, fake friendships, long drives, and dancing under the moonlight.
The record begins with, ‘waterfall’ which also happens to be Krameri’s favorite song on the list. It represents a mosaic of experiences; flitting to different scenes of a teenager’s life. The mesmerizing, electronic vocals endorse self-love and normalize looking out for oneself.
“A waterfall literally could refer to an orgasm through loving oneself, on a deeper level, learning to be self-sufficient and being ok in your own company; to not always need validation- to be filled with self-love,” Krameri explains.
Occasional monologues run between different songs as they narrate stories of transient romances with strangers you met at a party, or of the purple sunsets that you spent driving around the city intoxicated; when the bright city lights glimmered over you and you were ready to lose yourself to the night. There were no boundaries, nothing was sinful and you felt invincible.
The title track, ‘Feels Like Amnesia’ is an ode to the flamboyant party culture that we’ve all been a part of. The inspiration for the song comes from, ‘Bethnal Green’ an area in London dedicated to students and their parties. Often students, especially from France came, stayed, and partied here all the time.
While the entire album romanticizes teenage youth and everything that came with it, it also talks about lost friendships and broken promises. ‘Fairweather friends’ is about maturing and growing apart from friendships that you thought would last forever. It takes you on a trip down memory lane, where you can hear the drunken promises you and your friends made each other. The lyrics haunt you as you stay up late at night thinking about all these people who are no longer in your life.
“You always thought you’d be there for each other in the future, you made plans but now they’re not there when you need them while they’ve become completely different people. Even though you haven’t really changed and neither have they; people grow into themselves and you realize you are not compatible anymore,” Krameri says.
The final song in the EP is a bittersweet revelation of what adulthood feels like. You look around your life and see you have everything you’ve ever wanted and yet you’re not content. There’s no magic left, there’s nothing left to dream about, nothing makes your heart ache. You are wiser but the things that used to make you happy before seem silly now.
“Now you just feel like crawling under bedcovers and sleeping in, becoming addicted to self-medication and alcohol (Mix pills with the potion) Everything you imagined did happen- but are you happy?”
This is certainly not the first time her music has managed to render us emotionally vulnerable. Her debut album, ‘By the Sea’ was beautifully crafted in melodies mixed with low-tempo electronica. It spoke to us about lost love, isolation, and the tranquility of sitting by the sea.
Krameri’s heart-wrenching music can be described as a combination of Indian sounds and ambient pop flavors. It is a concoction of genres- befitting not just to those melancholic afternoons you spend daydreaming by the window, but also something that you dance to in your room at 3 AM. Her music cuts through the clamor of small talk and connects to your soul at a deeper level.